How to Tell a Friend

So I think one of the hardest things to do is tell a friend you have Trich. 

Your friends are going to notice that your hair is different and they will notice your thinning spots/ bald spots.The question you have to ask yourself if you want this person to know. Do you trust them enough. Your friend is going to ask what is happening. Sometimes they don't bother asking. In my case, my friends haven't asking directly. They have asked me why I always wear a head band. If I'm no ready to tell them I simply say that I don't the way my hair looks or my hair annoys me when its down. They may not believe but most of the time they leave it at that. It's scary telling somebody about Trich. They are either going to me really supportive, ignore it or use it against you. All of these have happened to me. When I have known somebody long enough, I just simply say that the reason I wear the head band all the time is because I have Trichotillomania. Then I explain it to them. I have noticed that the more supportive friends ask questions and say I'm beautiful no matter what. I have friends who accept it and never mention it again. I have friends who always ask me how I am doing. This is hard. I know all they want to do is be there for me but it is hard explaining my progress/ set back to them when I know they don't truly understand.  I have had friends who bring it up in a terrible situation in front of me. I tell them its not the time and I talk to them about it later. They either get it or don't.  Sometimes, they stop being my friend. Don't get me wrong, it is upsetting. But at least you know who your real friends are. Some people who you thought are your friends tell other people. You tell the so called friend that you trusted them and that they broke that trust. You tell the person they told that its confidential. You hope/ pray that it more people you don't trust know.

Your real friends will love you no matter what you look like. Your real friends will support you if you don't feel comfortable in a situation. Your real friends say you look beautiful. Your real friends stare at your eyes and not at your hair. You know when they are your real friends. 

At least Trich lets you know who your real friends really are. Trich lets you know who is a good person and who is not worth your time.

TIPS

Cooking	Having my hands occupied	Deep breathing for 30 seconds
Cycling	Stop 'n Grow on my nails	Practise mindfulness to be aware of my hands
Sewing, Rug making	Stress relief techniques	Phoning my buddy
Eating	Being involved and active	Sorting my sewing box while watching TV
Dancing	Plasters on my fingertips	Taking a hot bath
Writing	Silly Putty, slime or goo	Colouring or drawing
Wet hair	Going out somewhere public	Exposure to Sunlight
Squeezing a stress ball	Playing my hypnotherapy CD	Leave in conditioner
Distraction	Signing in to the chatroom	Playing with Beanies
Working out	Keeping a diary of how I feel	Forgive past mistakes
Going outside	Free acceptance of my condition	Watching trich videos on YouTube beckie0 <3
Rubicks cubes	Soft mascara that doesn't clump	Asking for what I want.
Wearing a hat	Getting physical with my partner	Going for a walk (free)
Eating bananas	Shaving my head! (extreme I know)	Reading trich blogs - trichsterknitster <3
Record keeping	My personal Trichnotherapy coach	Staying away from people who put me down
Stroking a pet	Pairing my socks while watching TV	Studying at the library rather than home
Wearing gloves	SkyTrichster's Trichster Tool Bag	Talking to other trichsters on the forums
Not being alone	Having my brows professionally shaped	Think about people who love me for who I am
Plenty of sleep	Spinner ring to fiddle with discretely	Eat sprouted seeds & stroke them on my lips
Playing good music and dancing or singing	Numbing cream on my eyebrows reduces my urges to pull them	Throwing away the tweezers or giving them to someone to hide
Crochet or knitting, tapestry or cross stitch	Stroking a soft paintbrush or makeup brush on my skin or lips	Covering mirrors in my house or putting positive statements on them
Thinking about an event I want to look good at	Writing down how many I pull and what happened just before I pulled	Cutting out sugar, glucose caffeine and popcorn helps me be pull free
Take a shower or run my head under the tap	Wearing clear lens glasses makes me realise when I go to touch my eyes	Covering my scalp with shampoo, lotion and hair conditioner (all mixed)
False fingernails makes gripping impossible	Getting a new hair cut, colour or style that I love and don't want to ruin	I only allow myself 30 mins of TV at a time. I can manage to stay pull free for 30 mins
Reading only in public - i.e. on a bench in a park.	making patterns with pins in a pin cushion, then pulling them out and starting over again.	Hand massage with oils: I don't want to get grease in my hair and it makes my fingers slippy!
Removing mascara with remover AS SOON as I get home	My best tip is to play games on a computer or phone it keeps you occupied and your fingers going	If I start picking at my mascara, I have to remove it immediately with lotion to stop me losing lashes
Getting up and doing something to take my mind off it	Claw thumb rings which are brilliant as when you put them on there is no way in the world you can pull	Hair Dryer: When my hair is freshly dyed, it is sleek and silky. No coarse bits for my hands to be attracted to.
Social networking like Facebook & Twitter	Using my head massager before bed seems to be helping me to have more peaceful sleeps and prevent pulling	Eating a pomegranate. It takes AGES and you can watch a whole film while picking at the seeds. Sunflower seeds also occupy the hands.
Getting up and moving about as soon as my hands go there	I keep my correspondence in a box by the television so I can write cheques, pay bills and write envelopes while watching.	Put a few pics of people with nice hair up in places I look at often so I can have something to aspire to
Writing down why I hate trich and why my life will be better without it	Painting my nails: I don't want to smudge it by pulling! I keep my nail polishes by the TV. Polishing my nails gives me time to refocus on something else and forget my urge

Research project into trich

Interesting:
Take a look (or read)

http://www.trichotillomania.co.uk/trichotillomania_research/Exploring%20the%20relationships%20between%20Trichotillomania,%20Cognitive%20Emotional%20Regulation,%20Metacognitions,%20Depression,%20Anxiety%20and%20Deficits%20in%20Attentional%20control.pdf

Boy Bald Barbie

So this bald barbie thing is bigger than I thought....

ForbesWoman

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4/25/2012 @ 1:40PM |3,840 views

MGA's Bratz Dolls One-Up Barbie On Going Bald

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There’s a difference between a true investment and a half-hearted effort. And this distinction is illustrated in the saga of the bald doll.
In January, cancer advocate Jane Bingham launched a Facebook page asking Mattel to introduce a bald version of Barbie to support children with cancer. At first, Mattel responded to Bingham with a basic form letter saying it does not accept submissions from consumers. But after the “Beautiful And Bald Barbie” movement attracted widespread attention and accumulated more than 160,000 Facebook “likes,” the toy maker announced it would produce 10,000 limited-edition bald Barbie dolls to donate exclusively to U.S. children’s hospitals.

Could Cancer Cure Barbie? Mattel vs. Beautiful and Bald Barbie David Vinjamuri Contributor

While Bingham was pleased with this decision, she was also disappointed with the result. “They are only making 10,000 of these dolls, so only a very limited number of kids will even be able to get their hands on one,” says Bingham. “Each year, 12,000 kids are diagnosed with cancer, and no child without cancer will receive one. Plus, this limited quantity is bound to cause a high resale price. It’s basically going to be only a collector’s item.”
At the same time, Mattel competitor MGA Entertainment, maker of the Bratz Dolls, was carefully watching the saga unfold. “After hearing that Jane just received a form letter from Mattel, it gave us the green light to get involved,” says MGA’s Susan Hale. MGA approached Bingham to develop the “True Hope” collection. Under the banner, MGA is releasing three bald Bratz dolls, three bald Moxie Girlz dolls, and one bald Moxie Boyz doll. In addition, MGA is donating $1 for every doll sold to support cancer research at the City of Hope organization.
Little details matter, says Hale. All of these dolls, for instance, do not have eyebrows since most cancer patients lose theirs. Wigs are also not included with the dolls, nor are they available as separate accessories. “We want to show that you don’t have to have hair to be beautiful,” says Hale. Each doll package comes with a kid-sized beaded bracelet, in honor of young cancer patients. “Kids receive a bead every time they finish a treatment. They use their collections as a way to countdown to the end of their treatment,” says Bingham.
The True Hope collection debuts exclusively at Toys ‘R’ Us beginning June 11^th. The retailer is fully supporting the bald dolls by placing the SKUs in high traffic areas, including by the cashier registers. Hale also says Toys ‘R’ Us is not switching out any of the “hair” Bratz and Moxie dolls in the toy aisle to make room for these new products. “Toys ‘R’ Us is fully on board,” says Hale. “Other retailers see [selling bald dolls] as risky, but not Toys ‘R’ Us.”
Both Bingham and MGA’s Hale make an effort to downplay any competition between the two toy makers, though it’s hard not to make the comparison. “This isn’t a situation where Bratz beats Barbie. We would love to see all doll makers offer a bald version. It’s not just Barbie. We want to see bald [Spin Master] Liv Dolls and [Mattel] American Girl dolls,” says Hale.

'I'm Mad' by Fleming

Something that all of us with Trich can relate to:

 So very mad

I'm mad.
I'm mad that I'm judged by the lack of hair on my head.
I'm mad that I let what other people think about my appearance upset me so.
I'm mad that I let it have so much control over my life.
I'm mad that it has power over my ability to get close to people.
I'm mad at God (if there is a God) for allowing this to happen.
I'm mad that I'm terrified to have children because I don't want for them to have this horrible condition.
I'm mad that hair matters so much in society.
I'm mad that I cringe at my reflection.
I'm mad that when I hear someone say "you are pretty" that in the back of my mind a voice says "lies, lies, lies."
I'm mad at doctors and pharmaceutical companies don't recognize Trichotillomania as real medical condition.
I'm mad that I can't wear cute hair accessories. 
I'm mad that I'm ashamed of myself.
I'm mad that I have no control over this condition. 
I'm mad that I may never be considered beautiful. 
I'm mad that I may never overcome Trichotillomania.
I'm mad that I have a hard time talking about it.
I'm mad that it has to matter so much to others.
I'm mad that it matters to much to me.
I'm mad that I have a hard time being idle without doing severe damage to my appearance.
I'm mad that when I dream I have beautiful hair and when I wake up it's not there.
I'm mad that I feel like my Trich is a burden to others.
I'm mad that strangers feel they have the right to ask me about it or try to touch my head.
I'm mad that commericals for hair products bring me down a knotch.
I'm mad that I can't see myself as others see me.
I'm mad that I'm mad and I'm so very mad.

And I'm tired of being mad. I'm tired of having this anger and this frustration. I'm just tired.

A Poem By Fleming

can't hide the damage

the bathroom tile can't hide the damage.

a graveyard of those deemed unworthy to stay behind and grow full and long.

the sink and counter can't hide the damage. 

the now unwanted hair lies motionless, having been defeated by the restless hands.

the bedside floor can't hide the damage. 

the remnants of a lost battle reveal the duration of an urge which couldn't be stopped.

the driver side of the car can't hide the damage. 

the dangerous distraction shows the tangled mound of unlucky victims.

my reflection can't hide the damage. 

the shiny bald patches are a constant reminder of my lack of self control. 

my reflection can't hide the damage. it stares back at me sharing what others see. 

my reflection can't hide the damage, the damage that I have done, 

the damage I wish I couldn't see.  

http://alifewithouthair.blogspot.ca/

My Thoughts on the 'Bald Barbie'

Ummm... Well does it really bring awareness to Trich?
Okay, so a little girl goes up to the toy shelf, she won't pick the bald barbie, she'll pick one with hair. No?
Which is basically reinforced by society.
I mean, the Barbie franchise has created this image of 'perfection' which girls compare themselves to. So to be having the Barbie company produce a 'Bald Barbie' is ironic.
I wonder how sales went on the Bald Barbie. I sure wouldn't want a bald barbie.
Having these feelings and knowing that girls who buy barbies probably won't want a bald barbie, is sad. It exposes us with Trich sorta negatively.