Sometimes I just feel so helpless. So lost.
I am struggling with my belief in God. I am a Christian. And I do believe that somebody is listening to my prays and helping me. Other times I feel nothing.
Sometimes I feel God around me. And then sometimes I feel empty. And that hurts because I know I shouldn't feel that way at all. I am blessed with amazing friends and loving parents. I attend University and getting an education. I have shelte. I have more than enough food. But I feel empty.
I am a person who likes to have a plan. I am okay with the idea that God has a plan for me. But why is Trichoillomania in the plan when there's no cure. There's nothing. Is there always hope?
My friend, after I had a breakdown at church, told me that sometimes we don't understand the workings of God and that all we can have is trust for him and his will. The Pastor gave an incredible message that Sunday. Don't let fear contol your belief. But with God, conquer your fear. He'll always be there for you. And I know some people reading this may not believe in God and that's fine. Just I don't know how you can go through something like this without Him. Let you faith contol your fear.
Its a long recovery.
That's the sentence I have been hearing a lot lately. Thank you, I already knew that.
Long recovery.
There's no recovery. How can I stop something that most times I have no control over.
I want so desperately to stop.
So desperately. But I can't find a will. How can I want to stop pulling but not be able. Where's my strength to conquer? And that's when I feel empty.
